Round 1

More than ten years ago, 'the fighter' survived a gunshot wound from a glock pistol to the gut at point-blank range. He dragged himself 50 yards into his house to call 911 himself.

But for the last two years, his fight has been with a different opponent: an 'unclassified' form of Leukemia -- referred to generally as CML (Chronic Myeloid Leukemia).

CML is a slowly progressing type of cancer of the blood and bone marrow. The bone marrow is the inner part of your bones where blood cells are made. When you have CML, your body makes too many abnormal white blood cells. 

In recent months, his illness had taken a turn for the worse. The fighter had to have blood transfusions twice a week. He endured many trips to many doctors. Over the course of the illness he had five bone marrow tests, countless needles and many medications to control his disease and ease his symptoms.

Round 2

Just a few months ago while he was in Las Vegas the fighter felt "a little ill" (as he described it) and drove himself to a hospital. At the hospital, they determined his hematocrit -- basically the amount of red blood volume in your blood stream -- was so low that he should have been dead.

He was apparently something of a celebrity at the hospital that day. Nurses and doctors went out of their way to meet him, or spoke in whispered amazement amongst themselves about him. They couldn't believe he actually drove himself to the hospital -- or that he was even conscious and walking around.

He was just too stubborn to die.

Recently he learned that he was ineligible for Gleevec, a medication for his condition that could have helped him tremendously. But Gleevec only works if you have a certain chromosome, and he didn't have it. It was a setback for morale, but he hanged tough.

Round 3

The fighter's spleen had grown so large and caused him so much discomfort that the doctor's finally decided to remove it yesterday.

The fighter could barely breathe or eat because the spleen was causing so much pressure on his lungs and stomach. It was ten times the size a normal spleen should be. The fighter was weak, frail, miserable. He was on the ropes -- but this operation offered to greatly improve his quality of life, and maybe even his condition. 

He survived the operation, but in critical condition. His hematocrit was low. His blood pressure was low. But he still fought.

Round 4

Then they had to open his wound again to stop continued bleeding that threatened his life.

I signed the consent form. It was literally a do-or-die operation. He had fought too hard. He deserved another round. He was too stubborn to die.

The operation was a success, but the fighter was still in critical condition. His blood pressure was good. His platelet levels -- the level of clotting cells in the blood -- were on the rise, which was good. His bleeding had stopped. His hematocrit level was stable and looking good. The doctors were all cautiously optimistic.

We left the hospital around 11:30 last night, planning to return in the morning. The fighter needed to rest.

At 3:00AM my cell phone woke me.

The fighter's heart had stopped. They worked for nearly 45 minutes to revive him, but the long fight was finally over, in an unexpected downturn.

My dad wouldn't be winning this round.  

The fighter remembered 

When I arrived at the hospital, I ran into his surgeon coming off the elevator. He said he was sorry.

"You can't win 'em all," was basically the best I could muster at that time. For every life a doctor saves, there's another lost. It still sucks to be on the ass-end of that statistic.

My dad rose up from humble roots on a Montana farm to put himself through college, get married, and start a family. He played football and wrestled in college -- and he hustled the local pool halls to help pay his way through school.

My dad loved flying -- he was a pilot and flight instructor many years ago -- and he loved hunting, the outdoors, camping and fishing. He was extremely good with tools and construction, and always willing to help others.

He was an extremely good pool player and taught me how to shoot pool when I was old enough to see over the table. In recent years he was an official referee for professional billiards players.

He let me drive our speedboat when we lived in Florida.

Perhaps his greatest attribute as a father was that, no matter how different his kids were from him, he always allowed us to be who we wanted to be, and supported us in our efforts -- something I try hard to do with my own kids.

Just last weekend my younger brother flew in from Ohio to visit us and our dad. My brothers and I spent most of the weekend with him. We played poker -- a popular family past time since I was a little kid. As we wrapped up our game last Sunday after an afternoon of playing Texas Hold 'Em, my father looked up and said "This was the best day I've had in a long time."

I'm glad we were able to have those days with my dad, because that day will be last, best memory -- and the last time I saw my father before he went into the hospital.

I wish we could have more.

Fresh of the heels of my dog's death, I'm happy to report some good news -- mainly:

• (Contract) Job offer from Nintendo; potential start date is 4/6
• We'll be getting a substantial tax return this year -- much larger than I expected
• Our Disneyland trip got slightly changed to a different package, which will save us $800
• I got promoted from 1-stripe to 2-stripe blue belt at my BJJ school, http://www.nwjja.com
• I'm meeting with some folks next week to discuss some more freelance writing for some casual video games (which I can thank my long time buddy Paul Peterson for helping to hook me up with)
  

It will be good to get working again, but at the same time I've got mixed feelings. I've enjoyed being a 'house dad' for the last 9 months or so. (I've only been unemployed about 3.5 months, but prior to that I was working almost exclusively from home.)

Hence I'm not completely looking forward to returning to a 9-5 type gig, commuting, and no doubt a severe compression of my free time as a result of day job + extra projects.

On the other hand, the new job should allow us to go forward with a house re-fi to take advantage of the super low mortgage rates, and pile up some cash n' stuff. Paying bills and eating is good. =)

But I'll miss my sons -- taking Kazu to school, and being home for them in general. Sigh.

I'm sure we'll all manage.

On March 20th, 2009 -- the first day of spring -- we had to euthanize Baku, our beloved dog for the last nine years. He had developed an aggressive bone tumor about 2 months ago. We kept him comfortable for as long as we could. He lived like a king in his final months. I cried briefly right after I made the appointment.

He was the kindest, gentlest dog (a Lab/Great Dane mix) I've ever known. He was amazingly smart. He easily learned all the standard dog tricks and commands, and I suspect if I'd ever wanted to take the time, I could have taught him to open the fridge and grab me a drink. When we adopted him, I was told that many of his litter mates had gone on to be service dogs.

He loved chasing frisbees and tennis balls. He was afraid of children, except for our own -- whom he was amazingly patient and tolerant of. I will always miss his guttural, howling "talk" when he was excited to see us.

He used to sit with me downstairs on Friday nights while I watched Battlestar Galactica. Last night, all I could do was hold his empty collar -- a closed and now profoundly symbolic circle.
When we got into the car to take Baku to the vet for his euthanization, my CD player just happened to be playing "Space Oddity" by David Bowie, followed by "Come Sail Away" by Styx. It just started to play "Turn the World Around" by Harry Belafonte when we arrived at the vet.

When we arrived at around 3:10PM, a flash storm poured rain down on us as we tried to get Baku out of the car.
That same storm felled a tree, crushed a pickup, and caused a motorcycle accident and a power outage -- right next to my mom's house.

After Baku had passed on and my wife and I managed to stop crying, we returned to the car. The CD player resumed playing "Turn the World Around" by Harry Belafonte.

When we returned home, my oldest son Kazu was in tears. I guess he's old enough now to understand what was happening -- more so than I thought he would.

It was about 5:00PM when I took my youngest son Katsuya to my mom's house so she could watch him while I went to my jiu-jitsu class. It was then we discovered the felled tree and other problems caused by the very brief storm. News crews, police, the fire department, and various city utility trucks were all at the scene still sorting out the mess. Fortunately, no one was hurt.

It was 3:10PM on March 20th, 2009 that we had to take Baku in so he could die peacefully, finally free of pain.
But the world -- or my world at least -- raged that very day, that very moment at the loss.

So, I'm over due. Busy holiday season and stuff makes blog updates pretty low on the priority list. I find it ironic that I blog more when I'm actively employed.

My last Microsoft contract ended in mid-December, so I'm on my "100 day break" until I'm eligible for employment at MS again. In the meantime, I've kept busy being a 'house dad', working on some freelance projects, writing for Examiner.com, and looking for work.

I'm arguably more productive when I'm unemployed than when I'm employed!

Kazu's medical problems are largely better, but his eyes are still problematic. He has glasses now, but he has inflammation in his optic nerves, which we are now treating with Methotrexate and a bunch of different eye drops and such.

The holidays, overall, were good. Katsuya just turned 3 on 2/1/2009, and got an enormous number of presents. I shouldn't be allowed to buy presents, because his taste in toys is the same as mine was -- so I go to town buying action figures, superheroes, dinosaurs, monsters, robots, etc. His action figures are so much cooler than mine were when I was his age. :)

And now... to get the little bugger to bed.

So, we got dumped on again last night, putting our snow total somewhere around 10-16" for the last week or so. It's a beautiful white Xmas -- albeit inconvenient and treacherous as well.

I managed to get out last night in my little hyundai elantra and make a grocery run and get some badly needed cat food and other 'emergency' supplies.

Some roads (major thoroughfares) were reasonably clear, but parking lots and side streets ranged from bad to impassible. Even jeeps and 4X4 vehicles were sliding sideways -- and then of course, there were still the 4x4 driving douchebags that seem to think merely driving a 4x4 gives them some sort of snow-invincibility.

Regardless, I got out of the house, got some groceries, and got home safely. Not sure we'll make it out of the house again tonight or tomorrow. Supposedly we'll see some rain AND snow in the next 2 days... but so far, it's only snow.

So our neighborhood is still largely buried in snow about a foot deep. My wife worked yesterday and today, so I'm pretty much stuck at home with the little ones all day by myself.

I used the time yesterday to thoroughly get the house cleaned and caught up, and I'm trying to get the last of the gifts wrapped while keeping order and peace in the household. No small task sometimes.

Otherwise, it looks like we're reasonably prepared for the holidays! The job search, such as it is, continues. The kids have an assload of presents lined up (including two things for which Kazu has been asking for months...), so it should be fun watching them open presents.

The snow has otherwise kept us largely housebound. I'm a bit stir crazy, but it's nice to have our gym in the house so I can workout in the evenings when the wife is home. Also, sometimes it's nice to just have an excuse to laze around the house instead of running errands...

But still, sometimes I get a little stir crazy and just want to go for a walk. My younger brother and his wife (and my mom) should be stopping by a little later today, so I may be able to sneak off for a short while and take a walk or something.

So today is my 40th birthday. And I'm unemployed now too. And I'm not having a good day -- at least not yet. Hopefully it will get better. No real plans today anyway other than going to BJJ class and getting a good workout in.

I went to Kazu's class today and observed him...and he was perfect. It was a short day because we went and saw a lot of Christmas lights last night and got back late, so I let him sleep in. Anyway, I'll go watch him once or twice more to see if I can help identify any potential 'issues'.

The reason for my visit is because he's been a bit of a problem for his teacher.

On the upside, we SEEM to be through the worst of his medical problems for now -- he has a follow up appointment with his Ophthalmologist today -- but we're still going to see a pediatric neurologist to find out if he might potentially have Tourette's Syndrome or just be a bit of a hyper kid with a tic or two that he'll outgrow. Fingers crossed for everything...

Truthfully, my lack of blogging is largely Facebook's fault.

Also, I've just been very busy. I'm wrapping up my contract for the Evil Empire -- after which I'll be unemployed (sigh) -- I'm writing two video games, and still writing my video game column for Examiner.com.

Also, all of Kazu's medical problems as of late have kept us busy, but appear to be winding down now. Mostly, it's all good news. His MRI was clear -- no signs of Multiple Sclerosis. What they found was a nasty sinus infection, and they think his Iritis/Optic Neuritis is/was a secondary symptom of that.

He just finished 14 days of a very harsh antibiotics. He'll be completely off prednisone in a week, which will also be great. He's already sleeping and behaving better now that his doses are much lower.

The only thing they found from one of his blood tests is that he is has a gene or marker of some sort that basically means he has a higher chance of developing an autoimmune disorder. But it in no way means he has or will ever get one -- he just has a higher probability -- and it likely wouldn't surface until he was 19+ years old.

So we're breathing a little easier now, and settling into holiday mode. I've got the lights on the house, the tree up, and I'm looking forward to happy holiday season. (I'm not looking forward so much to my 40th birthday, which is in 8 days...)

My oldest son is fighting on multiple fronts now. He still has an as-yet undiagnosed health problem that may be some sort of auto-immune disorder.

On top of that, his behavior at school has been tough. He's a great kid at home, but at school he just seems overwhelmed by the stimulation of it all and can't 'maintain'.

Making matters worse, he's on very high doses of prednisone and it's making him even worse -- more uncontrollable and prone to just obnoxious behavior. I hate it, because I know it's the damn drug, and not 'him'.

He's certainly precocious and still a high-maintenance kid -- but the high doses of prednisone he's on basically turn him up to 11. It's maddening, and frustrating.

I just want to get to the bottom of all these 'issues' -- get a diagnosis of his health problems, get him off that damn drug, and figure out why he's having problems in school. Until then, I just keep fighting.

My oldest son was so excited for Halloween, he woke up around 12:30AM and asked "is it Halloween?"

Unfortunately, he was up for a significant portion of the night. Partly he's just excited for Halloween, but I'm sure the relatively high doses of prednisone he's on also jacked him up.

Prednisone can make it hard for you to sleep.

He's extra excited because we have like 8 carved pumpkins to put out (3 of which were home grown in his garden).

I'm forcing him to try and take a nap right now. I don't want him all cranky, fussy and whiny for trick or treating tonight.

My son's continued medical problems are a mystery. He apparently has optic neuritis, although I'm not certain even that diagnosis is firm.

What scares me more is that Optic Neuritis can be related to, or a symptom of Multiple Sclerosis (MS).

He's done several blood tests, a CAT Scan, and X-rays. He's seen a Rheumotologist and multiple Opthamologists.

The Rheumatologist mostly ruled out Sarcoidosis, but that's still a possibility.

The vision in the affected eye could be permanently compromised to some degree.

But we don't know anything for certain. There's still a chance it could just be an acute onset. They've ruled out a number of other things (which is somehwat unfortunate, because many of those 'other things' could be easily treated with antibiotics).

We just want him 'better' and to lead a normal, happy, and preferably disease-free life. He doesn't feel bad or anything, but he is pretty tired of all the doctor's appointments (as are we).

The last two weeks have been really rough. My oldest son has had trouble with his left eye. It was initially mis-diagnosed as "pink-eye", but after treatment failed to work it was re-diagnosed as Iritis.

Several opthamology, doctor's visits, and consults later, his eye looks better but his vision in it is still compromised. Now they think Sarcoidosis might be possible.

The poor little guy has been in and out of doctor's offices nearly every day for the last 2 weeks -- and he's seeing a Rheumatology doctor at Children's Hospital today, and an Opthamology doc at Children's next Tuesday.

Now he's taking high doses of prednisone -- something I'd rather he didn't have to do, but it's necessary now. I fear that he has inherited some sort of auto-immune disorder; perhaps not Lupus, but Iritis and Sarcoidosis are both similar and related to Lupus -- or maybe something else entirely.

I'm also terribly worried about his eye, and the possibility of him going blind in it.

Even worse, I guess I'm worried that my son is just going to have to spend a large part of his life in and out of doctors' offices, on and off various meds -- in short, not exactly the 'normal' life we all dream of for our kids.

I'm trying to stay positive, but right now, until we have more answers, fear and uncertainty holds sway.

A friend's blog clued me in to this. Pretty cool. But at the end, they should add "...unless you're a dumbass."

A company named Cyberdyne is making a robot-cyborg suit named HAL?

This can't be good... read the full story.

'Totaling' my old car wasn't how I wanted to come into a new car, but ultimately it's proved to be a good thing.

I liked my old car (1999 Saturn SL2) when I bought in 2001.

It was loaded with features I'd never had (cruise control, sun roof, etc.), and it was a nice car. But by 2006 it was becoming a money sink. Little things kept breaking, and some big things as well, such as:

• 3 valve gasket repairs in less than 2 years at about $500 a pop. I didn't have to pay for the last one because it was still covered by the shop's warranty... so two of these replacements occurred within 6 months of each other.
• The sunroof no longer worked.
• The rear passenger-side window didn't work anymore.
• The car burned oil.
• The glove box was broken and wouldn't close properly.
• And to top it off: The 'Service Engine Light' had been coming despite a $500 fix to the computer/control system and some sensors less than 3 months ago.

Bear in mind, I took my car in for regular oil changes, 30/60/90k services, etc. I didn't treat the interior real well, but I did the best I could to keep it running. Regardless, by 2006, it was just breaking all too often and costing too much money. (It never broke down, at least.)

That said, I really dig my new car (2004 Hyundai Elantra GT 4dr Hatchback). It's more fun to drive (has some pep), it's more organized and has lots of convenient places to put stuff -- and it still manages good gas mileage (old guidelines it's rated at 27/ 34mpg, but more modern guidelines peg it around 24/31mpg.)

I've never been much of a car guy, but I can say that the Elantra has given me some appreciation of 'sporty' performance.
The Saturn's response to the gas pedal/clutch was like "yeah, hang on a sec" whereas the new car basically says "right away sir!"

Throw in a hatchback for more storage, better stereo, etc. and it's a winner. Hopefully it holds up better over time.

So I was sitting with my son last night at dinner, and noticed a huge spider (probably a 'hobo' or 'brown' spider I think) up on the wall in the corner of the room.

I decided not to splat the spider and collected him in a cup.

Then I walked outside and tossed him gently into the brush...and into the web of a garden spider.

So in an attempt not to kill a spider, I basically fed one spider to another. Oops.

So, the Week from hell is done and behind me. I've collected the dough from my insurance company -- dough for 'doh!' if you will -- and I am now the proud owner of a spiffy car: A 2004 Hyundai Elantra GT 4-door hatchback. (Pic below)

I think we got a good price (all told, a little under 10k). It gets excellent gas mileage and it's fun to drive -- it's a 'sport' sedan, so it's a good bit zippier than my last car. -- although it's still primarily an economy/family car). It looks nice and it has a nice, organized interior. It's a pretty big step up from my last car (a 1999 Saturn SL2).

My eldest son is particularly happy with it. This morning he insisted that I take him to school in 'the red car' and he was running around telling the other preschoolers about his 'new red car'.

One thing about leather seats -- while they may be durable, one cold-clammy connection with my ass this morning (I was wearing shorts) was all it took to inspire me to buy a seat cover and a steering wheel cover. Brrrr.

This article about Creationism, by Roger Ebert, is actually quite funny -- as long as you're savvy enough to read between the lines.

And if you're not, you should probably read this follow up article by Ebert as well. 

So last week was a real loser for me and my family -- kind of like a whole week of bad karma. Briefly:

• My wife had a (very minor) stroke.
• I got in a car accident which totaled my car.
• Work was generally busy and stressful.

Fortunately:

• My wife's stroke was very minor and had no lasting effects. We did have to go to the doctor's for various tests and such, which pretty much killed her whole evening... but overall she's fine.
• The car accident really wasn't that bad. No one was hurt. It was my fault, unfortunately (extenuating circumstances, pending some traffic court mitigation).
• Work is gradually lightening up this week, and may slow up by tomorrow.

I'm still awaiting the check for my car (which I should get today). The car accident is poorly timed, and now I'll have to spend a bunch of money I don't want to spend (I'm still shopping on the cheap, relatively speaking -- under 10k). On the other hand, my car was on its last legs anyway. (I was planning on getting rid of it next summer.)

I don't identify myself as a democrat or republican, although my general leanings are liberal democrat.

That said, I don't much care about what the media reports on various candidates for office. It is, after all, easy to misread or misinterpret facts separated from their subject. In other words, the only way to get the real, whole story is from the subject.

However, one thing I am flagrantly biased against are freakshow religions--such as Pentecostals--and (in general) all the bible-thumping-anti-evolution-fire-and-brimstone bullshit superstition that thoroughly fly their flags of ignorance in the face of common sense and science.

Sarah Palin went to a Pentecostal church (full article here). That pretty much lands her on my idiot list, regardless of anything else. Being as she's a die-hard Republican and a fan of the NRA just adds to my imagining of her as a bible-thumping-gun-toting-flaq-waving-beauty-queen-redneck hired for popular appeal and not any genuine ability to lead.

Some quotes from various folks in her political party say she 'represents America' in the sense that 'she's one of us' ('the common people' is my take on that).

I'd like to see her 'common people' ultimately supplanted by my 'common people' -- the educated, successful, and still thoroughly middle-class people. She doesn't represent 'my' America, and not the America I'd like to see decades from now.